However, when you become a divorced parent, chances are, you would like to continue interacting with your children and with custodial and visitation arrangements; that also comes with working together with your ex as a co-parent. 

Creating an effective co-parenting plan with your ex can become quite tricky, especially if your ex harbors ill feelings toward you. Consider the following tips to help you overcome the tense emotions of co-parenting to give your children the best possible environment: 

No ill feelings toward your co-parent should be present when talking to your children. 

Keep in mind that any feelings you have toward your co-parent have nothing to do with how you should interact with your children. Refuse to talk negatively about your co-parent in front of your children. Your children have the right to build upon their relationships with both parents, it would be best not to come in between that.

Communication with Co-Parent

Look, being your co-parent’s best friend is not going to happen. However, it’s crucial to be able to have amicable communication. Try establishing a more business-like relationship between you and your co-parent; imagine you’re both working for the same client and you have the shared goal of doing anything that is in the best interest of this client (your children). Attempting something like this could help the urge to get caught up in all the tense emotions between you and your co-parent. 

Help your children between homes.

The children will likely be traveling back and forth between two or more homes. Consider making an extra effort to drop your children off, rather than waiting until the co-parent comes to pick them up. In this way, you avoid sending out messages to your children that they are being “taken away.” Try sending out messages that you are trying to collaborate with one another. 

For the benefit of your children.

While building a genuine co-parent relationship that is both smooth and collaborative can be trying at times, hopefully, these tips may help ease your journey. It’s important to remember that you are doing this in an effort to protect your child’s best interests above anything else. 

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Continue scrolling to learn five tips on being a successful co-parent.

Determine What Success Means for You

You and your ex-spouse love your children very much and want the best for them. Together, you and your ex need to determine what successful co-parenting will look like for you. “Successful” is relative and will be different for every family. Define your big-picture-goal and make a plan on how to get there. This may include shared holidays and family gatherings, being kind and respectful, too (and of) one another, among many other things.

Put Your Kids First

Co-parenting is not about you or your ex. It is about your children: their needs, their health, and their happiness. Put your negative feelings and opinions for your ex aside. Keeping your kids’ feelings and wellbeing at the forefront of your mind will help you get through the tough and frustrating moments.

Lead with Empathy

Co-parenting is not easy. It is not easy for you, your ex, or your children. When navigating your situation, do your best to lead with empathy. Doing so will make co-parenting a touch easier. Try to walk a mile in their shoes. When your ex-spouse is expressing frustration or concern, remember they have feelings also. They love your children, as well. When your children are missing your ex, let them express their feelings. Communicating and interacting with empathy will give you a much more successful outcome.

Be Respectful

In addition to being empathetic, a successful co-parent is respectful. Make sure you communicate respectfully to your ex-spouse. It is easy to let your emotions take the wheel at times, but you should always speak respectfully to each other. Make sure you talk politely and positively about your ex-spouse to others, especially your kids. Never express to them any negative feelings you may have. Make sure you are respectful of your ex-spouse’s time with your children. If your kids only have a couple of days with the other parent, make sure you are not infringing too much on their limited time together. Do all things with respect.

Use the Tools

Take advantage of the apps and online tools available for co-parenting. Easily manage schedules, important information, expenses, and even use them to communicate with one another. Applications like these will help keep you and your ex organized and on the same page as one another, helping avoid miscommunications and unnecessary feelings of frustration.

Contact The Ault Firm

Whether you are contemplating divorce or need to modify your current child custody arrangements, the legal team at The Ault Firm can help. Our experienced attorneys will guide you through the complexities that are involved in family law. We are still helping clients during this time. Though, to prevent the spread of COVID-19, we are offering phone and video consultations and meetings. Call our team to schedule your case review today.

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In general, there are two ways parental rights can be removed in Utah. Starting with voluntary removal, (also known as relinquishment) parents will remove their rights by their own free will. This is generally something that cannot be undone once proper documentation has taken place. Another general rule is that relinquishment can also be difficult to achieve.

Largely due to the fact that every child has the legal right to a parental relationship. Therefore certain procedures must take place in order to ensure the parent understands the finality of their decision. For example, the parent wishing to waive their rights must undergo counseling to assure they are mentally sound.

At the end of the day, this legal avenue should only be pursued if both parents feel this removal is in the best interest of the child or children.

Involuntary removal of parental rights.

When this happens the parent is no longer legally considered to be the parent of the child. As with voluntary removal, the court will make its decision based on the best interest of the child.

When this happens there is usually clear and concise evidence of the following:

• The child has been abandoned or deserted by the parent or parents.
• There are signs of neglect or abuse.
• The parent has been deemed unfit due to mental illness, physical illness, or other ailments that renders them unfit or unable to perform the necessary duties of a parent.
• If the parent is going to be imprisoned for an extended period of time.
• Seeking legal advice

Regardless of your situation, when parental rights are involved the consequences can be severe and life-altering. If you are considering relinquishing your rights, or if you are looking to have the rights removed from another, speak to a family law attorney as soon as possible.

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There is a natural tendency among authoritarian divorcees to alienate their children. Although alienated children from authoritarian families follow all the rules, their social skills and school performance tend to be poor and they may also deal with low self-esteem coupled and other issues. Parental alienation is a serious problem that must be dealt with during the early stages otherwise it may affect your child’s emotional development. If you feel your children have been alienated from you, contact a Salt Lake City divorce attorney today to advise you on the best course of action.

Not enough time

Many children whose parents live apart after a divorce feel they don’t spend quality time with their parents. The custodial parent is generally busy running a household and also bearing most of the costs of raising children alone. Children will also feel the same way with the non-custodial parent who only show up on weekends.

Alienated children

Some children may reject one of the parents’ company and refuse to contact them or spend time with them. These are alienated children. Although there may be a reason for this behavior, studies have shown that children in situations like these have been influenced or taught to reject the other parent. Their memories or perceptions of the parent being rejected are not positive and all the pleasant moments with the rejected parent are slowly erased from the child’s mind.

Causes of parental alienation

Although in most cases parental alienation is caused by one of the parents’ negative influence, there are times when other factors may have also contributed to the child’s behavior:

• Child’s personality
• Family circumstances
• How the rejected parent responds to the alienation

Psychological harm

Children are naturally inclined  to value the favored parent’s opinions a lot. When the favored parent speaks negatively about the rejected parent, the child will suffer psychological harm known as child psychological abuse. Children suffering from this type of abuse may experience:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Dependency
• Feelings of  anger
• Problems with authorities
• Eating disorders
• Disrespecting adults
• Performing poorly in school
• Low self esteem
• Feelings of abandonment

Authoritarian parenting

This parenting style is generally responsible for most of the parental alienation cases. There is a lot expected from the children and feedback is not allowed.  These parents have strict rules that must be followed and children are not provided with many option to choose from. In other words, when an authoritarian parent speaks negatively of his or her ex, it’s a fact and he or she is not open to debate. This parenting style is controlling. Rather than teaching children and allowing them space to make  choices, authoritarian parents always have the final answer.

How a Salt Lake City divorce attorney can help

If you have recently gone through a divorce and you are facing the above described scenario, it’s important you seek legal counsel from an experienced Salt Lake City divorce attorney. Parental alienation is very common in divorce cases but  there are healthy ways to deal with this situation.

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